Fine Friday VI: Coffee.

First off: one of the best, if not my favorite smells in the world is coffee.  Pretty much any type.  Even if just grounds, coffee is an amazing scent.  Now, about the taste: I can't say I love it.  I'm fine with mocha or hints of coffee flavoring, but the drink itself doesn't really mesh with my taste buds.  I will admit, I have purchased a cup of coffee once just for the reason of smelling it.  What I don't understand though, I have never seen a coffee scented air freshener.  I've seen vanilla, cinnamon, and plenty of other food flavors, but not coffee.  Someone needs to get on that.

Online math tests.

Not the math testing center, but this is at WKU.

My math class uses this online tool for homework and tests.  It's called MyMathLab.  Now, I'm okay with doing math homework on the internet with my computer.  It's no skin off my back.  Usually it's better, because I'm more likely to have a computer with me than a book, pencil, and paper.  The one problem though is tests and quizzes.  Since they are both administered over the same online tool, you have to take them on your own time.  But you can't just take them in your dorm, because then you could use WolframAlpha for every question.  You have to schedule an appointment at the Math Testing Center.  You know where the testing center is?  The top of the hill.  Furthermore, when you arrive, they wipe the entire memory of your calculator.  I lost my Calc-Art from Sophomore year :( .  Then you go sit in front of a computer in a cubicle while they watch you.  Even worse, the air conditioner in the room is loud and squeaks constantly.

Over-Protective packaging.

You know that feeling. Unwrapping a present or getting a new toy and wanting to play with it immediately.  You're just so excited about how much fun the new thing will be!  But one thing stands between you and said toy.  The ridiculous blister packaging.  The sharp, strong, seemingly scissor-proof plastic packaging.  I understand that it's supposed to protect the product until it reaches the consumer, but it also protects the product from the consumer.  I can't count how many times I have stabbed myself under my fingernail with a sharp corner trying to open something like this.  It's also ridiculously loud, but I'm guessing that's to protect against theft inside a store.  Either way, there are so many better ways to pack an item.

Ridiculous shipping prices.

I am an avid purchaser of things online.  I just find that it is so much easier and faster to buy things online and have them shipped to me, or in some cases, pick them up at the store. But what really irks me is when the shipping charge is way more than it actually costs to ship the item.  Take for example shop.puma.com.  They charge $8 shipping for a pair of shoes, and only give free shipping on orders of $85 or more.  Another culprit can be found on amazon, but not amazon themselves.  The amazon stores.  They will undercut amazon's direct pricing by $2, then charge $10 for shipping on a 6 ounce package.  Considering that most things I buy online would fit in a USPS Flat-Rate box that costs $4.95, I should never be charged more than that for shipping.  What is even worse?  Places that choose their shipping rates based on item price.  See the chart in the picture for an example.  Why would it cost more to ship something that is $24 compared to something of the same weight and size that costs $25?

How hard eating healthy in college is.

Except my floor doesn't have a kitchen.

I've been trying to lose weight for the past month, and I've discovered just how difficult that really is when using a meal plan at a school in Kentucky.  Everything, and I mean everything has saturated fats.  I would go out and buy more healthy foods, but I already paid for the meal plan. *excuses*.   I have been forced to eat at Subway every other day and get a sandwich with ham, lettuce, olives, and vinegar.  Not even cheese.  I do however find solace in that since this is a Pepsi school, every soda machine has Diet Mountain Dew (caffeine without sugar).  Luckily, I feel as though I am able to burn off most that I east by walking all the way around campus everyday (2 miles, with a large elevation gain).  Here's the worst part though: both my mother and grandmother have sent care packages to me.  Full of what may you ask?  Food.  Mainly candy and Slim-Jims. Sigh.

Poke Wars.

You know what serves almost no purpose anymore?  The Facebook poke button.  All it does is start unnecessary conflict.  I have 2 major Poke Wars going on right now.  One person (she knows who she is) established rules of 'No using phones to poke", but she does it herself.  She cheats at her own game!  I will be sitting in class on Facebook, and I will literally have a 2 second turn-around time for my pokes.  I actually don't use my phone to poke.  I just have no life and sit on Facebook all day.  That and I carry my Nickelodeon netbook with me if I am leaving my room for more than an hour.  I'm such a nerd.

Mixed Nuts and Trail Mix.

Random fact: Raw Almonds contain cyanide.  They have to be heated/cooked before they are legal to sell in the US.  On that note, I hate packages of mixed nuts.  The only good parts are the peanuts and cashews.  I am most definitely not a fan of almonds, whether or not they are poisonous.  I've never really enjoyed walnuts, and I really don't like pecans.  In trail mix, we all know what's up.  You eat the M&Ms first, then you mingle through and sort the rest to find the good parts.  Though usually bags of either of these are given to me for free, so I dig for the ones I like and discreetly throw away the rest.

Fine Friday V: Twitter.

To start off: I do have a twitter (@sofunnytom), if anyone really wants to follow me, but I have no idea what I will ever use it for.  If I wanted to give 140 character random messages to the world, I would just post it as a Facebook status.  What I find ridiculous is when someone posts over 50 tweets a day.  How are you supposed to sift through the crap that isn't directed at you?  I like the idea of hash tags though.  It's quite a clever idea to find and rate trends around the world.  There is one main thing I don't like about #s though.  I follow @ryanauld (Project Runway Season 9), and I have to wait until the day after the show goes on to watch it because I can't get TV working on my computer.  Everyone tweets the results before I get to watch the show!  But Twitter has made itself relevant to modern society, so that's just how it will be.  One thing people need to understand: Twitter is not a Facebook replacement or even competitor.

People who read this blog everyday but don't follow.

Certain people who are reading this very text haven't pressed the follow Join this site button.  If you read this everyday, why haven't you just followed it?  I have 5 followers, and yet most of the people who comment don't follow it.  I don't care if you make a whole new account just to follow it and never use it again.  Give yourself an identity!  Anonymous is not a very good name to comment with!  Make up some random screen name.  I really don't care.  I do reply to most comments aimed at me, and it gives me a person to reply to.  Plus, when this blog becomes super famous, you can brag about how you were one of the first followers.  It's a win-win situation.

People complaining about Facebook changes.

Does anyone remember why Myspace died?  First it was advertisements, but secondly it was getting stale.  They didn't change anything until it was too late.  If the world stop innovating, we would all be stuck with old things that bored us.  If Facebook intends on staying on top (and they do) they have to keep things fresh.  Some people argue that they are already behind Google+ feature-wise.  So stop complaining every single time one thing is changed.  Remember last time they changed everything and you complained that you had just gotten used to it?  The same thing will happen here.  You'll live.  As my cousin said: "Not really sure what the fuss about Facebook is. If you're going to whine about it or care that much, then you obviously spend too much time on it."  Suck it up people.

Most automated phone systems.

Everybody has had to call tech support on one occasion or another.  So most people are aware of the modern 'convenience' that is automated phone systems.  But it would be rude for me to clump them all into one category.  There are the touch tone systems which rely on you pressing certain buttons to navigate through endless menus, and there are voice-activated systems.  The touch tone systems often have a female voice list off options, followed by the number to select them.  By the time she's done saying the options, you're bound to forget which option you wanted to choose.  The voice-activated systems can be just as confusing though.  The worst sometimes go like this:

System: "Thank you for calling technical support!  You can use short phrases such as 'I need help sending a text message', to answer the following question.  What are you calling about today?"

Me: "My phone needs to be activated."

System: "So you need help with My Verizon?"

Me: "No."

System: "What are you calling about today?"

Me: *Click*.

Pro tip: A lot of systems actually do have the ability to transfer you directly to a human if you press 0.

Streaming advertisements.

So I have Spotify, right?  If you don't know what that is, it's unlimited streaming music, but you choose exact songs. Well of course, nothing in life is free, so there are ads.  Normally not a problem.  I think it's fair to have to listen to a 10 second ad every once and a while.  But what I don't like: when you have to wait for the ad to load.  Lumped into this same category is interactive ads.  I was watching Hulu, and the advertiser for the show I was watching was Tide.  Normally during an ad, I open up Facebook until it's done.  I sat there for 2 minutes of no sound before switching back only to realize that I needed to choose which Tide ad I wanted to watch. Yoga Pants or White Shoes?  Let's get serious here.  No one cares that much about ads that they would choose one over the other.  Furthermore, I hate Flash Ads with sound that start playing automatically.  They scare the crap out of me half the time.

Teachers making Jeopardy.

So it's a day or so before the big test.  Your teacher decides that they want to have a fun review activity. Heck, they even bothered to get prizes. The main thing that bugs me in these situations is the fact that they never remember/care to form answers, and ask for questions.  They simply throw trivia into a grid and call it Jeopardy.  In my most recent run-in with this problem, the teacher used an online tool that built the game for you.  All he had to do was fill in the blanks.  The game included sound effects comparable to the sound effects of PowerPoint 2000, and he had the volume at the maximum.

Stupid/ridiculous abreviations.

I have been enlightened to a few new texting/Internet abbreviations over the past month or so.  Some that I find so pointless, so stupid, so dumb that I felt they deserved a post.  I will list them below:

• SMH, smh, smdh - Apparently stands for "Shaking my (damn) head".
• Ex. "Some people on this page just get on my nerves! SMH"- Facebook

In my opinion, this is the worst of them all.  Why can't someone use words to show their disgust?  I also think of something vulgar when I see this.

• HMU, Hmu - "Hit me up".
• Ex. "I'm not going to be shy anymore . What's up names jdub see me around I'm a chill ass Guy to talk to . Hmu sometime people" - Facebook

Hit me up is a phrase that has already been shortened.  HMU looks like a college to me.

Definitely my favorite text lingo.

These examples are from the WKU Class of 2015 Facebook group.  I literally cannot understand half of the things people post on that page.  Sort of like how I couldn't understand a word some ladies at Wal*Mart were saying to each other.

Fine Friday IV: Elevators.

Today's post revolves around elevators.  Some elevators are truly a dream.  For example: glass elevators in an atrium.  But then you run into elevators in parking garages, old buildings, and the worst: dorms.  Another problem I have with elevators is speed.  Luckily the ones in my dorm (27 stories) are pretty fast.  Usually the worst offenders are parking garages.  Usually if my climb is less than 5 stories, I'll just take the stairs.  Sometimes that isn't possible though (see this post).  But sometimes you step into an elevator, and it smells nice, everything is clean, and the light music puts you in a generally cheery mood.

People who stand in the middle of hallways.

This is a random crowd.

People who go/went to DP know what I'm talking about here.  Whenever it rains in Goleta, everybody feels like if water touches them, they will melt.  So getting from class to class is near impossible because everyone is hunkering under the overhangs.  On a normal day, people stand around and talk to each other.  Not a problem.  But when it rains, they feel like they must stand in the middle of a walkway, stop, and chat- blocking all traffic both ways.  What could be worse?  They usually gather in places where lots of people walk by, like where 4 directions meet.  Am I over analyzing this situation?  Probably.

NEW FEATURE! Write-Your-Own Wednesday I: Electronic Spelling Errors

Some of you may see this feature as me being lazy, and you're kinda right.  This one really relies on you readers/commenters.  Here's how it works:  I will post the topic or item that annoys me.  I may give an example or some background info.  Your job is to come up with an anecdote or story that explains why you think I am annoyed by this.  We'll see how this first one goes, and if it works, I'll do one next week too!

Today's topic: Incorrect Spelling in electronic communication

Info: I understand when someone is typing fast when texting, but a Facebook status should have NO spelling errors.

Unlabeled Street Signs and more.

During move-in weekend, my mom and I decided to explore around the city of Bowling Green.  Using a combination of Google maps on my phone, and some paper maps, we attempted to find the second Wal*Mart.    It seemed as if every other street we came upon did not have a street sign.  How am I supposed to know where to turn if the directions say Street A, but Street A is unlabeled?  You could end up (as we did) 3 miles into the country before you find a place where you can turn around and head back.  I'm also going to include out-of-date bus schedules in this post.  The WKU website only has 2010 Bus Schedules posted.  It says that the bus to the mall comes once every half hour, but guess what, this year it only comes once an hour.  Imagine the fun I had waiting outside a Wal*Mart in Kentucky at 8:30pm with bags of stuff.

Not being able to think of an appropriate post for today.

Yes, I am wearing headphones.

I thought all day today about what I would post this afternoon.  I have a list of topics, but couldn't decide on one that I thought worked for today.  So instead, you get a picture of me scratching my head trying to think of an idea.  I will also tell you that I have a plan for something special on Wednesdays too.  It has another title with alliteration. I'm truly sorry if anyone is sad that I don't have a real post for today (though I doubt anyone is).

Inkjet printers.

Inkjet printers are just plain annoying.  All aspects of them get on my nerves.  First, you buy them.  This is the one good part.  They start as low as $25.  Second.  You install the included ink cartridges.  This is where the rip-off begins.  Usually the starter cartridges are half the size of normal ones.  Then you have to print the alignment page.  This consists of squares of solid color in random positions.  I'm pretty sure this uses half of the included ink.  Then you plug the printer into your computer.  Never have I ever had an easy time installing a printer.  Not on a Mac or PC, printers don't discriminate.  After you wrestle with the manufacturer's website to find the right drivers, you can finally start printing.  And each time you print, a little window might pop-up on your computer screen with he following message: "Ink is low.  Plan repurchase from www.hp.com."  So you go to the website.  How much is the ink cartridge?  Here's a formula to help: Price of printer x 2 + Shipping = Ink price.  Technological Con-Artists.

Survivorman and Man vs. Wild.

Normally captioned with "Better drink my own piss".

When I turn on the Discovery Channel, I hope that Mythbusters will be on.  Even if it's a rerun.  What do I find most of the time?  Survivorman or Man vs. Wild.  Neither of these shows have any point to the normal TV watcher.  I didn't even mention Dual Survival yet.  When will you find yourself stuck in the marshes of Patagonia?  Hopefully never.  When Discovery has all sorts of content to put on the air in the way of documentaries, specials, and other programming, why must they fill every opening with some overrated survival show?  I also see no point in the argument that the Survivorman guy (idk his name) is better than Bear Grylls because he doesn't use a camera crew.  WHO CARES?  No one.  That's who.

Fine Friday III: Raisin Cookies.

So you're at a social event, and you walk over to the refreshments table.  At first glance you see a veggie tray, a fruit tray, deviled eggs (eww), and a tray of assorted cookies.  Of course you dive straight towards the cookies.  Your mind is telling you to grab the beige cookie with the black spots, because that means chocolate chip.  You grab the cookie, take a bite, and sadly...... the spots are raisins.  Now, this isn't that bad.  At least they weren't oatmeal raisin.  Raisins taste pretty good to me.  Edible, yet not delectable.

People who feel like you have to know their opinion.

I feel like I start off every post with a question.  This one will start differently.  I promise.
Never mind.  I lied.

Ever been sitting in a college or high school class where the teacher is rambling lecturing?  Now, look in the front row.  Chances are that you will see someone with either glasses and clothes that do not fit the current weather, or someone with an oversized backpack stuffed to the brim.  Now, let's say the teacher poses a hypothetical rhetorical question.  Who answers said question?  The person in the front row.  Who then decides to debate the teacher about current events that have no effect on the topic at hand?  The person in the front row.  Who always takes 3 times as long on the quiz for no reason?  The person in the front row.


EDIT: I did make a mistake there.

Cussing excessively.

Quite a few times I've found myself tempted to call someone's mouth a trash compactor. Why? Because the things coming out of their mouth on such a regular basis are disgusting.  You guys know exactly who I'm talking about.  Great example: Shia LaBeouf's character in I, Robot. I understand when angered, a person is tempted to shout some expletive, heck, even I do it, but when it becomes part of their essential vocabulary, then it's a problem. Why can't we all be like the Orbit commercials? Lets make 'Cootie Queen' the new b***h.

Proprietary connectors.

Ever forgotten your phone charger while travelling?  What about your video camera?  Ever since Microsoft and Intel along with a few others released USB on the public in 1996, there has been no purpose for proprietary connectors.  When I got my first cell phone, I was excited to hook it up to my computer to put free ringtones on it.  Should have been easy right?  No.  I had to buy some cable from Samsung just to plug it in and put music on it.  I had that phone for 3 months, after which I switched to an LG phone, and thus, needed a new different cable.  Nowadays, most manufacturers (Ahem, Apple), have switched to Micro or Mini-USB for charging/data.  Instead of having to carry 8 chargers with me when travelling, I only need 2.

Airline drink cups.

Nowadays, whenever you take any flight, as long as it's over 50 miles, most airlines will give you a soft beverage for free.  Not meaning to look the gift-horse in the mouth, they are pretty stupid.  The drinks themselves are fine, but mainly the way they serve them annoys me.  Why must they be in plastic cups?  If they know airplanes encounter turbulence, why would they use cups with such a wide mouth?  Instead, I think they should just give us the mini cans of soda/juice, or use these: 

'Shopped it myself.

Or you know the easiest solution?  Give us lids and straws.

Emergency Exit only stairs.

I've run into this one at a couple of different places.  The other day, I decided to walk down the 26 flights of stairs in my dorm building instead of taking the elevator.  When I finally got to the bottom, what did I find?  A big red door with the words "Emergency Exit Only: Alarm will sound!", and a big vandal proof security camera facing the door.  I had to walk up 5 flights to the first guy floor to leave the staircase and take the elevator down to floor 1. Want an even worse example?  The Disneyland Hotel has a staircase that locks as soon as the door closes.  Walk into the stairs by accident?  You need to walk all the way down and take the elevator back up.  I get security issues, but some of these are ridiculous.  Just let me walk down the stairs.

Minerally Water.

A lot of Europeans are going to think I'm crazy with this one.  I absolutely abhor when my water tastes of minerals.  Whether it is intentional or not, minerals make water disgusting.  For example, the water in my dorm is so full of minerals you can see them if you look close enough.  The last thing I want is to see things floating in my drinking water, let alone taste them.  Now you're thinking, "Wow, Thomas is such a little spoiled b***h".  And you're kinda right, but I have standards.  Now I need to go buy a Brita pitcher for this room.

Fine Friday II: Sour Patch Kids and Fun Dip.

Welcome to another edition of Fine Friday! I'll be your host, Thomas, as we enter my mind to find something that I don't really frown upon. Today we're traveling to the land of Sour Patch Kids and Fun Dip!  Now, there is a reason that I grouped these two together.  I love the taste and tang of Sour Patch Kids, in fact, they are my favorite movie theater candy.  But after you eat even just a few, the top of your mouth and tongue are shredded to bits.  Eww.  The same goes for Fun Dip.  Probably one of my favorite candies of all time, (Razz-Apple Magic fo sho.) but either you end up destroying your tongue/mouth, or you end up eating the dipping stick just by itself and are forced to use your finger to eat the rest of the powder.  But I think the taste is worth it.

Jack Black comedies.

You know who isn't really that funny?  Jack Black.  Especially when he is reading scripted comedy written for award shows.  Watching the VMAs the other day reminded me of that.  I never even had the slightest want to see Nacho Libre, even though at the time, people were telling me it was hilarious. Tenacious D was stupid.  Kung Fu Panda? Hardly funny.  I don't think he even has a future if he switches to serious movies.  His humor is quite childish, and yes, I do realize that most of it is aimed at children.  And he need to shave his beard. Ewww.